


Frozen (But What Can I Do)

by Brumeier



Series: Bite Sized Fic 2019 [8]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 09:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18657307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: LJ Comment Fic for Frozen prompt:Marvel Cinematic Universe, Bucky Barnes (/Sam Wilson),I can't feel my sensesI just feel the coldAll colors seem to fade awayI can't reach my soul(Within Temptation)In which Sam and Steve help Bucky through his own particular brand of PTSD.





	Frozen (But What Can I Do)

It snuck up on him, sometimes. The cold. He’d be eating or reading or watching a movie, and little tendrils of frost would work up his spine. When that happened he’d burrow into one of his hoodies and Sam or Steve would make him hot cocoa, and he would be fine. 

Rarely, the cold hit him like a Mac truck. It happened so infrequently that he stupidly hoped the last time really was the last time. But it never was.

“It’s okay, Bucky. Just breathe.” Steve’s words were muffled, far away. 

He’d been walking from the bathroom back to the living room and now he was stuck, flash frozen in place. He couldn’t feel his extremities. He swore he could see his shallow breaths puffing white into the warmer air around him. His heart was pounding in his chest, and a little ball of panic was careening through his mind.

_Not again. Not again. Please don’t make me go back in there._

“Nice and easy, man. We got you.” Sam this time.

He knew he should feel safe. Sam and Steve wouldn’t let anything happen to him. He knew that as well as he knew his own name. But he couldn’t move and the panic only spiraled up and up.

They moved him to the bedroom and he must’ve been walking but he couldn’t feel it. He couldn’t feel anything. The cold was so deep even his bones ached with it.

_Please. It’s so cold. Don’t make me go back in._

Sam turned down the sheets on the big, big bed while Steve tugged the soft gray hoodie over his head. He was aware of it all but separated from it, frozen and fearful. What if he started forgetting again? What if all his memories, all his hopes and dreams and fears, froze just like the rest of him and left him with nothing? 

He desperately wished he could feel Sam’s hands, and Steve’s, as they moved him into the middle of the bed. Wished he could feel the way Sam curled up against him on one side and Steve on the other. They pulled the sheets back up and he wished he could feel the warmth they were trying to surround him with.

_I want to stay here. Please let me stay here._

“It’s okay, Bucky. It’ll pass. We’re here and we won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Remind yourself where you are. You’re in your house, in your bed. You’re safe. No-one’s ever going to put you in cryo again.”

He had no sense of the passage of time, but eventually his fingers and toes started prickling. Eventually his mind let the rest of this body thaw. Eventually he could feel Sam’s breath on his shoulder and Steve’s hand splayed over his heart.

“Welcome back,” Sam murmured in his ear.

He opened his mouth to apologize, but Steve kissed him before he could say a word. And then Sam kissed him, too. 

“Thanks,” he said instead, though the word was insufficient to express the gratitude he felt.

They stayed in bed for the rest of the day, cuddled close, chasing the last bit of cold from Bucky’s body. And maybe this time from his soul, too.


End file.
